


I'll Never Love Again

by chatalyst



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Canon, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, i'm sad and y'all are gonna KNOW about it, they both die in the end au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 10:43:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20172934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chatalyst/pseuds/chatalyst
Summary: There were 3 known rules to having a soulmate:1. Everyone on earth had a soulmate.2. One of you would know the exact day you were going to meet your partner.3. One of you would know the exact day your partner was going to die.Never once, in the history of the world, had there been an exception to the rules.





	I'll Never Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> If I knew  
That it would be the last time,  
I would've broke my heart in two  
Trying to save a part of you.

There were 3 known rules to having a soulmate.

  1. Everyone on earth had a soulmate. Platonic or not, this was your other half, your partner through life. They could be your best friend, your romantic partner, your ex.

  1. One of you would know the exact day you were going to meet your partner. They called this the Soul Awakening. They described the feeling as pure elation, a happy sunbeam that followed you all day. It was a high no one could replicate. Those who had this ability said that they knew the exact moment their soulmate walked into their lives. It was as if they finally found what they had been unintentionally looking for. They were finally home. From 12:00:00 a.m. to 11:59:59 p.m., you had the potential to meet your soulmate.

  1. One of you would know the exact day your soulmate was going to die. They called this the Soul Death. They described the feeling as agonizing dread, a gut-wrenching anxiety that wouldn’t go away. It was the feeling of knowing something terrible was about to happen, and being powerless to stop it. Those who had this ability said they knew the exact moment their soulmate was no longer on earth. It was as if all the color was drained from the world, their soul being ripped into two. They were completely, utterly alone. From 12:00:00 a.m. to 11:59:59 p.m. you had the potential to lose your soulmate.

Never once, in the history of the world, had there been an exception to the rules.

September 2nd, 2016, Nino Lahiffe awoke laughing. He couldn’t explain it if you asked him, he just knew.

He was meeting his soulmate that day.

All morning, he watched for them. He walked his normal route to school slowly, making eye contact with as many strangers on the street as he could.

“He’s Looking.” One woman whispered to the little girl sipping juice across from her at a café Nino was passing.

“Is that how you found mama?” The little girl asked, eyes wide and apple juice forgotten.

“It is.” The woman said, getting a faraway look in her eyes. “It was one of the happiest days of my life.”

Nino smiled and sped up. It was guaranteed he would meet his soulmate today; he didn’t have to be late for school because of it.

Madame Bustier asked for him to sit near the front this year, something he resented. What if his soulmate walked in and he was too busy taking out a notebook? What if his soulmate was already in class and he couldn’t tell because they sat in one of the middle rows? What if they were supposed to sit together and he was stuck at the front of the classroom in a seat he would never normally sit in? What if…

What if…

In a moment, his entire life changed. Every beautiful word he had ever read about meeting your soulmate was nothing compared to what he felt in the instant Alya Cesaire walked through the door. His heart soared; his entire being felt like he was floating in midair. His soul seemed to cry _this is it, this is finally it._

If he could breathe, he would have asked her name, asked her a million different things. But if the books had been right about one thing, it was the speechlessness. Some people took years to finally work up the courage to tell their soulmate that they knew.

_It’s your body’s way of compensating for the lost time, _doctors said. _Everyone finds the courage, eventually._

Two months later, locked in a cage at the Paris Zoo, he finally gets the courage. She stares at him for a moment, then breaks into laughter.

“You know?” She says, wiping her tears after a moment and reaching for his shaking hands. “I was secretly hoping it was you. It would explain a _lot_.”

* * *

June 23rd, 2027, Alya Cesaire awakes, crying. She can’t explain it if you asked her, she just knew.

She was going to lose Nino that day.

She ignores it at first, thinking that if she just keeps him close he won’t have the opportunity to go. Wiping her tears, she hooks a leg around his sleeping hips and buries her face in his chest. His heart beats a steady rhythm beneath her, his arm unconsciously winding around her waist.

It calms her down long enough to fall back asleep.

She wakes two hours later to an empty bed. She scrambles up, searching for any sign of him in the room. His glasses are gone, the charger next to his side of the bed empty. Tears are forming in her eyes as she grasps the sheets, trying not to assume the worst.

_I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to fucking say goodbye don’t do this don’t-_

The toilet flushes.

Panic subsides as she hears the faucet turn on through the bathroom door, noticing for the first time that the light is on. Nino’s shadow moves for a moment, then the door unlocks. He walks out laughing at his phone.

“No, Adrien, I am not going to try moldy, expired cheese just because your kwami said it might only _kind of _kill me, are you kidding me?” Nino said, flicking the light to the bathroom off.

“You’re a COWARD!” Adrien yells, his voice sounding far away.

“Adrien says you’re a coward.” Marinette’s voice says, sounding closer to the phone.

“That is a lie and you know it. Alya, do you think I’m a-“ Nino’s voice dies as he sees her face, and she knows she’s crying again. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Alya shakes her head, unable to speak.

“Let me call you guys back.” Nino says, hanging up before either of them has a chance to answer. He crawls to her on the bed, taking her hands in his. “What’s wrong, babe? Talk to me.”

He brushes her hair away from her face, wiping her tears aside with his thumbs. Alya must take several deep breaths before she can answer. Her throat feels like it’s closing, her hands shaking.

_How do you tell your soulmate that you think that it might be their death day?_

Taking a steadying breath, she glares at him.

“Were you talking to Adrien on the _toilet_?” She asks, pulling her hands out of his.

He blinks. Once. Twice.

Then grins.

“I muted it while I was peeing, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Alya screams, shoving him away.

“That is SO gross!” She yells, catching his wrist before he can topple off the bed. Her heart stops, but he’s laughing.

“That is my BRO, Alya! If you can’t pee with your bro on mute, then who can you pee on the phone with?” He holds her face in his hands, kissing her nose. “But for real Alya, don’t scare me like that. I thought something happened.”

Looking in his eyes, she knows two things.

  1. She can never tell him.

  1. If today truly is their last day together, she’s going to make it count.

“Let’s go do something.” She says, and his eyes light up.

They spend the day together. He calls out of work, taking one of his many saved up vacation days to wander aimlessly around Paris. They stop by Tom and Sabine’s, picking up fresh chocolate croissants and sharing like they used to in lycee. They go to the park, laughing at memories of Marinette stumbling through her words and Adrien being painfully oblivious to her crush on him.

“Those two were the worst.” Nino says, shaking his head. “How they ended up together anyway, I will never know.”

They walk to the zoo, their old school, their favorite restaurant. His hand is in hers, tugging her along as he recounts all their memories. The moment they met, the moment they became friends, the moment he told her he knew she was his soulmate, their first kiss.

She tells him about the moment she knew he was her soulmate, how she cried all night thinking he didn’t want her because he hadn’t told her yet. She tells him about her decision to let him go once she found out about his crush on Marinette, knowing that she would rather be miserable than see him upset, and the relief she felt when he told her in the panther cage that they were bound together.

The time is 4:57:59 p.m. when he asks if she wants to head home.

Alya makes his favorite dinner that night. The way his eyes light up makes struggling through cooking – the one household chore that she absolutely despises – worth it.

It’s when dinner goes off without an incident that she realizes: _It’s Not Today_.

People had spoken about it before. Sometimes, when the partner who hadn’t had the Soul Awakening was under mass amounts of stress, they would suffer through a Phantom Soul Death. The stress from life activities, work, and school could be mistaken for Death Day anxiety, leading many people to believe their soulmate was going to die when they just needed a day of self-care.

As soon as Alya thinks this, it’s as if a cloud has been lifted from her head. She feels lighter, like she can breathe without worrying.

_It’s Not Today. _She thinks, basking in the warmth of his laugh. _Nino’s going to be okay._

The time is 9:26:37 p.m. when he leads her to their room, the look in his eyes far too full of meaning to be innocent.

“What are you doing, Nino Lahiffe?” She asks, though she knows the answer already. Nino smiles, bringing her knuckles to his lips.

“Can I thank you?” He whispers, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. Alya closes her eyes, allowing herself to be lifted. Her legs wrap around his waist, and she’s feels a rush of emotions she can’t identify.

They feel good, though.

_It’s Not Today._

“For what, my love?” She whispers against his skin. Spinning her around, Nino unceremoniously drops Alya onto the sheets they had left in a hurry earlier that morning. Alya giggles, hooking her legs around his waist again and tugging to bring him to her level. The look in his eyes dries her throat.

_Thank you for not taking him from me._

“For everything.” He murmurs, bringing their lips together.

If he notices her tears, he doesn’t say a thing.

* * *

“Wayzz, shell on.”

Alya blinks awake, eyes adjusting to the sudden green light engulfing the room. Carapace takes his shield from his back, turning on the communicator.

“Nino?” she murmurs, glancing at the clock. 11:35:26 p.m. “What are you doing?”

“Adrien called. There’s a late night akuma and Queenie needs help.”

A sick feeling creeps up Alya’s spine.

“I can go, don’t worry.” She says, shoving herself up.

“No, babe, you go to sleep. It’s just Ella and Etta again.” Carapace presses his hand to her arm, trying to get her to lay back down. “Nothing we haven’t handled before.”

She shrugs him off.

“I’m going with you.” She says, scanning the room for her underwear. Fuck it, she didn’t need them. She’ll just transform and they’ll-

“Alya, we’re not having this discussion. You have work in the morning, and I don’t. Adrien and Marinette have the kid at home. Me and Chloe can handle this.”

It takes everything in Alya not to scream. She can’t explain it, she knows if he goes something bad will happen. The feeling won’t leave her alone. She should fight, demand that he takes her…

_Calm down._ A voice within her whispers. _It’s Not Today. He’ll be okay. Go back to sleep._

…But she’s just so _tired_.

His lips press against her forehead, and she closes her eyes, laying back against the pillows.

“I’ll be back soon.” He whispers, his fingers lingering on hers as he pulls away. He takes one last glance at her before ducking out the window.

It’s 11:37:20 p.m. when he leaves, promising to be back soon.

_It’s so close. If something were going to happen, it would have already._

At 11:45:48 p.m., Alya falls back asleep.

_Thank you._

_Everything._

The time is 11:58:59 p.m. when Alya Cesaire wakes up, screaming.

**Author's Note:**

> DOOOON'T WANNA FEEEEL ANOTHER TOOOOOOOUCH!!! DONT WANNA START ANOTHER FIIIIIRE!!! DON'T WANNA KNOW ANOTHER KIIIIISS!!!! NO OTHER NAME FALLING OFF MY LIIIIPSS!
> 
> Thank you for being with me on this journey. I read They Both Die at the End a few months ago, and then cried for two full days every time I thought about it. Then I thought: what if I re-wrote the story, put a soulmate spin on it, and only one of them dies? Then cried for two full days every time I thought about it.
> 
> Special thanks to @mari-cheres, @buginetta, and @ladybuginettes on tumblr. You three are the realest, thank you for letting me bounce ideas off you every twenty minutes when I'm tired at work.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think in the comments!


End file.
